-image-My idea of a blind date

I  felt obligated to a friend who set up a blind date for me with one of her friends.As everyone knows if a woman has to blind date her attractiveness level normally drops to zero.Since I am loyal to my friends  I decided to go along.I had a plan to handle the blind date with a quick dinner ( not expensive) a movie( that way I would not have to look at her) and a quick goodbye.So all arrangements were made.I planned to pick her up at her apartment and go from there.

 I arrived at her place at the designated time & almost  passed out when she opened the door. She was not only extremely attractive,but she was dressed in a short leather skirt,black stockings & sexy shoes.She invited me in and we talked briefly while I sat on her couch.She sat next to me & started to draw closer to me as we carried on a conversation about this & that.I could not believe the next statement that came out of her mouth.She said” she was looking forward to this time as she said she has not has sex for about 18 monthes.”The next activities began to happen at a rapid pace.Her blouse had the top three buttons opened & I realized she was not wearing a bra.She aggressively grabbed my hand and put it down her blouse while kissing me passionately.I said to myself is this a dream or is this really  happening to me. A hot attractive woman anxious for sex.Next she pushed my hand under her leather skirt and up her thigh.Goodness gracious! She had nothing on underneath.I felt a moist vaginal area and she began to sigh.In a New York minute she grabbed my head,told me to get on my knees and pulled my head to the apex of her spread legs.By this time I was so turned on that my tongue had no trouble finding the right spot.She began to convulse while holding my head tight  between her  thighs.I was licking & sucking until she bucked & closed her thighs around my head almost suffocating me

.Without missing a beat she noticed the hardness in my pants,led me by the hand into her bedroom & said she needed a ride on some hard manhood..I was instructed in an instant to take off my clothes and lie down on her bed.I am totally horizontal & looking up at this hot gorgeous woman with beautiful expessive eyes begin to mount me.I started fondling her breasts, & inserted my erect member in her warm moist love cave.Body heat was transmitted instantely and with her sensous movements & passionate kisses I could feel the climax build in my genitals and would soon reach the point of no return.Holding out was no option and I released with such force that I shook & shuttered.I double checked to be sure I was alive.

My date disconnected from me and laid beside me. Time went by rapidly as we had intelligent conversation in the “afterglow”.All I was concerned about was”will she see me again,did I perform to her standards,all I could do at this point is hope & pray.My prayers  were quickly answered when she said”when can we do this again”? Now I know what is meant by a “blind date”.After we said our goodbyes I was too dizzy & blind to find my way home.

Natasha

www.phillylady.com

India and China are at the top of a United Nations list of countries ordered according to population.  Well, duh!  It’s clear to me that people in both countries, bless their horny hearts, have lively libidos. Could rice and hot pepper oil be aphrodisiacs?  Should I ask for MSG?  All I know for sure is that both cultures are absorbed with sex.  Just consider some of the names in their respective languages. Don’t tell me that “Bangalore” wasn’t derived from “bang galore” during an intense out-of-body sexual experience.  And how about the Indian name “Latafat?”  It means elegance.  I suppose it was coined from “lot of fat” by someone in Calcutta with a fat fetish.

Some Chinese names are so unabashedly sexual that they need no explanation.  Consider “Dong,” and “Dong-Mei.”  And what about the city “Hohhot?”  It’s entirely possible that it came to be because of a dyslexic Asian with a speech impediment who tried to say “hot hoe.”

Citizens of the United States were third on the list and have some tantalizing towns of their own.  Wouldn’t you love to live in Beaverton, AL?  If you spoke with a southern drawl you might confuse Chickasaw, AL with “chick I saw.”  What about Little Rock, AR?  I think the letter “R” in Little Rock is a typo (giggle).

Pennsylvania has to be the state most absorbed with “beaver.”  There’s “Beaver Falls,” “Beaver Meadows,” “Beaver” and “Beavertown.”  But the village of Intercourse, PA takes the prize.  What?  You thought Amish babies were Cabbage Patch Kids? 

Natasha

www.phillylady.com

-image-Schedule Update

Currently, Back in PHILLY until Tuesday 3/16.

Tuesday 3/16 Leigh Valley area until Thursday 3/17.

While I was up North traveling, I took the time to visit the Chelsea Mansion in Long Island.  There will be a new gallery update of that photo shoot in the members area.

Natasha

www.phillylady.com

-image-The perfect afternoon

She meets me at the door.  As it swings open, I become aware of her exotic fragrance permeating the air.

I turn to see her, as she emerges from behind the door, naked and erotic in her loveliness.  Her beautiful face shines in welcome: her smiling eyes reflect awareness f the romantic interlude soon to come.  I reach out to caress her face, then her shoulder and soft full breasts.  These are a wonder… heavy and full, they nevertheless stand out in an assertive posture, asking to be weighed and felt and appreciated.  Their fullness sends an electric charge through my body as I hold her against me feeling her breast swell against me.

At the same time, my hands go around her back, feeling the smooth skin of her lower back and then traveling lower to stroke the swell of her ass cheeks.  My fingers run along the cleft between her cheeks, enjoying the warmth that they find. Traveling lower and lower, daringly approaching her bottom opening.  She urges me on with warm pleasurable sounds, and I lightly touch her rectal opening, ever so gently feeling the moist swollen aperture.  Then, I continue my exploration, moving my fingers around towards the front of her voluptuous body.

I encounter the luxurious vaginal lips, swollen in passion, eager to be stroked, anxious to be filled with the pulsing blood of our mutual eroticism.  My fingers plunge into her velvety vaginal tissues, delighting in the multitude of textures to be found inside her pussy.  Her moisture covers my hand as I gently stroke her clit, then insert my fingers behind it.  Searching and finding her G spot.  Her moans assure me that my aim is accurate.  She whispers,”Feel my pussy, make me wetter,  I want to feel you deeply in me”.  I eagerly oblige, just as she moves her hand to my abdomen and then lowers it to the front of my pants, where my penis swells in response to her beauty.

She opens my zipper, reaches in and softly caresses my erect organ.  She bends back over her couch, affording me access to her vagina as well as a lovely view of her full breast heaving in passion.  Her hand reaches for the ever-handy lotion bottle and she squeezes a generous portion onto my rampant penis, then, commences to deliver delicious strokes up and down my slick prick.  The sensations exceed words.  I’ am transported with sexual desire and need.  Every fiber in my body yearns to plunge into her, to possess her and be possessed by her

We move into the bedroom, where she lies moaning and writhing on the bed while I pull off my clothes and shoes.  Now that I am finally naked, we can appreciate the effect that the sexually charged atmosphere has had on both of us  Her cheeks flushed, she lies with her legs bent and separated, gently feeling her throbbing clitoral tissues and urging me to enter her.  Ecstatically, I move towards her, my penis long and hard.  As I crouch over her, she takes hold of my erect organ and places it against her pubis, which she has anointed with creamy lotion.  The sensations resulting from rubbing dreamily against her, feeling my balls closely engaged with her labial lips are more that I can bear..

I exclaim, “I must fuck you now!” She, urging me on, places my pens against her pussy and eases me in until I am captured within her body.  I feel her vaginal tissues surrounding my probing prick, embracing me in their moist fullness, facilitating the erotic motions of our straining bodies.  We move in rhythm, our bodies straining in ecstasy. She breathes into my ear. “Let it go, let me feel your juices fill me up, don’t hold back give me your orgasm now!!” I feel the inevitability of my orgasm building and building and finally spilling over the brink of my consciousness.  My organ swells, my seed spurts out in great white gobs,  her vagina clutches at my throbbing penis,  I feel her fingers urge my penis on and on and on until I am emptied, fatigued, spent and thoroughly satiated.  Shi is magical, bewitching lust partner, ever fresh, ever delightful,.  I await our next encounter with anticipation, even as I lie upon her, feeling myself surrounded by the warmth of her vagina.

(more…)

-image-Oh my… Where does my mind go….

I’m grateful for all the compliments my tongue-in-cheek essays have received, but for those of you who think my writings should be less farcical and more titillating, let me remind you that you’re not dealing with J.K. Rowling.  My mastery over what dangles doesn’t include participles (giggle); however, I truly hate to disappoint you guys.  Only for that reason did I give it the old college try.  So take out that “dangling participle” of yours and read on.

I toweled off after my shower and stood facing the bathroom mirror to survey my naked body.  The atmosphere in the room was vaporous and moist droplets veined the glass.  I picked up a washcloth and leaned over the vanity to wipe away the condensation, but my large bosoms caused me to lose balance.  I braced myself on the sink top with two hands and unintentionally peered into the clouded mirror with my nose merely inches from the glass.  I was mesmerized by a faceless silhouette within the misty mirror. Its curvaceous contours proclaimed the form was female.  She was naked and driblets of water appeared to trickle between her breasts and beckoning thighs.  I drifted into daydreaming about the ethereal shadow.  Was she a naked nymph bathing beneath a waterfall or just another slut covered in cum?  Both envisages excited me and I fantasized about embracing her while I glided two hands over my own moist skin.  I spread my pussy open with two fingers, as if to invite her tongue inside, and closed my eyes.  I was in an enchanted forest, supine on a velvety bed of verdant moss, and writhing with desire.  I breathlessly browsed her breasts and butt as she slinked on all fours toward my waiting pussy.  All her muscles were tense and her untamed eyes focused on my cunt like a jaguar’s on its prey.  Her tresses touched my vulva like the whiskers of the jungle beast I imagined; I was defenseless, then I heard a low guttural sound exude from her throat as her warm, moist breath parted my labia like the waters of the Red Sea.

Oh shit!  Look at the time.  I have to run. Oh, come on…you really didn’t think I could write? 

Natasha

www.phillylady.com

-image-Who Dat!!!

“Who dat?  Who dat?  Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?”  No, I’m not practicing for a minstrel show.  I’ve joined the “Who Dat Nation” because I’m a fervent football fan and frolicsome female who fancies a fun time.  And the boisterous bacchanalia in the Big Easy will be uniquely breathtaking because the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl.

The Saints victory over the Colts will make the 2010 Mardi Gras more festive than usual.  Only an explosion at the bead factory in Fuzhou, China could send more strings of plastic beads soaring skyward than the New Orleans Saints.  There’ll be more exposed “pigskin” flaunted by frolicking floozies on Saint Charles Avenue than pork bellies on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange.

The official monarch of the 2010 Mardi Gras will be none other than Drew Brees.  The royal stud muffin will kick off his reign as king when the Bacchus parade rolls down St. Charles Avenue on February 14.  He’s so dreamy (sigh).  How I wish he’d throw a pass at this wide-hipped receiver.  “Drew, throw me that foreskin…ahem…pigskin; I’m wide open.” (lol)

I dream about Drew’s fingers on my “footballs.”  Can’t find the stitches?  That’s because my plastic surgeon did a really good job.  Oh, come on now; don’t tell me you missed an obvious metaphor like footballs.  How will you keep up?  The game of football is chock-full of sexual metaphors like scoring and turnover.  And for those occasions when coitus doesn’t go quite as planned, there’s fumble, timeout and the two-minute warning to signal the end of play.  My ex-husband never played a game that went more than two minutes.  I was always relying on substitutions.

What’s that?  You want to tackle me?  Well, that’s not really a football metaphor.  Okay, but there are rules to follow.  My “backfield” is always in motion, and there’s no penalty for holding, but a play in my “end zone” is an illegal procedure that’ll cost you the game.  My “tight end” will block that play every time for an “incomplete pass.”  Oh, yeah, there could be more than eleven players in a “huddle.”  And overtime periods are more than 15 minutes, because I’m not a clock-watcher.

Now it’s time to stop playing the field and call me; I want to be your “ball carrier.”  But I should warn you, I may get a penalty for illegal use of my hands. (lol)

Natasha

www.phillylady.com

-image-3 D Photo Section

Have you noticed how popular 3-D movies have become?  Oh my God!  Tell me you’re not serious.  Most 3-D films are animated features for children.  They’re not flicks about chicks with triple D boobs. 

3-D means three-dimensional.  Images in 3-D do not appear flat.  You say that proves your point?  How’s that?  I admit you’re right.  Women with triple D devil dumplings don’t appear flat. 

You’ve probably noticed my magnificent wahwahs.  Wha-wha-wha-wha-what did you say?  You’ll have a 10-inch meatball hoagie and a 12 oz decaf?  Not that Wawa!  What made you associate me with a convenience store?  You’re really cruising for a bruising!  You’ve got some nerve calling me a convenient whore?  What possessed you to call me that anyway?  Oh yeah, right, I forgot about the gift cards (giggle). 

Don’t you think my bazookas would be the bomb in 3-D? Imagine my colossal coconuts looming so large you could almost reach out and touch them.  I’m sure the guys at AT&T would think it’s the bomb.  Isn’t the company slogan “Reach out and touch someone?” 

Viewing my goodies in 3-D on a large computer monitor would be awesome because 3-D images have depth.  You’d think my vaginal cavity is a subterranean cavern.  It would be like standing on the edge of a pussy precipice.  Should I send in rescuers if you fall?  The men who have taken the plunge preferred to explore.  You won’t need a spelunker’s light.  Do what the others have.  Just feel your way around (giggle). 

I’m actually working on posting 3-D images of my naughty bits for you to enjoy.  You like that?  You want to see photos of my nipples protruding inches from your face?  Oh, sure, it’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

Natasha

Phillylady.com

-image-”…the theory of public goods.”

Oh my God!  Unemployment is at 10.2% and there’s talk now of a new stimulus to avert a looming double-dip recession.  Tax incentives to small businesses are being bandied as a means to create jobs.  And some lawmakers have promoted legalizing marijuana to raise tax revenues.
 
The economy is clearly in serious trouble.  It’s definitely the opportune time to legalize the world’s oldest profession.  You must admit that hookers are stimulating.  And they know how to put men to work at jobs that are rewarding and satisfying.  And the only tool they need is in their pants!  Don’t you agree that a hooker should be advising Tim Geithner?
 
Nobel Prize winning economist James Buchanan helped to advance the theory of public goods.  What are public goods?  Wikipedia explains “…consumption of the good by one individual does not reduce availability of the good for consumption by others…”  Oh my God!  Is there any better example of a public good than pussy?
 
Solicitation is something of a cottage industry in public goods and there isn’t any reason for lawmakers to abandon their free market principles when it comes to prostitution. 
 
Professional providers generally have good business instincts and adapt well to changing markets in order to stay competitive.  I think they’d make it easier for lawmakers who are having trouble equating prostitution with accepted businesses like McDonalds by painting their legs gold?  That way people could eat under the golden arches (giggle).  Problem solved!

Natasha

www.phillylady.cm

-image-Global Warming

Oh my God!  Global warming is melting glaciers in the Arctic and those cuddly soft polar bears are literally drowning to death.  Could I be to blame?  I am responsible for an awful lot of heavy breathing.  Just think about all that carbon dioxide generated in my bedroom.  Oh my God!  I may have to buy carbon credits if cap-and-trade legislation is passed.  Let me get out the calculator.  If one carbon credit represents the reduction of one metric ton of carbon dioxide…hmmm…and one carbon credit costs me anywhere from 10 cents to $15…  Oh my God!  I could owe millions!  That is just unacceptable.  I will have to find a way to reduce my carbon footprint.  Maybe more oral sex would help.  I would have to breathe through my nose more.  Hmmm, could oral sex be the answer to global warming?  Problem is solved!!!

Natasha

www.phillylady.com

-image-”…until I shine like a supernova.”

Oh my God!  I just heard about the new prophetic flick…  What’s that?  No my puzzled playmate.  The movie, “2012”, has nothing to do with prophylactics.  The flick is about the apocalypse.  Geez Louise!  Stow the condom my coitus consumed companion.  This isn’t the time…  What’s that?  My revelation amounts to coitus interruptus.  Listen, my sardonic smart-aleck, the Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012.  Get it?  It could mean the end…  Wait a minute!  Where did you put that condom?  Get all the condoms!  I’m going to screw from now to 2012 until I shine like a supernova.  Problem solved.

Natasha

www.phillylady.com