Lady Natasha Lady Natasha

-image-I Can Rock Your World…

Posted by on April 19th, 2010

Oh my God!  A volcano is Iceland is spewing so much ash that airplanes all over Europe are being grounded.  Isn’t nature amazing? 
I don’t put out “ash,” but I’ve caused more than a few vigorous eruptions at my place, if you know what I mean, and several men have had so much fun that they’ve missed their flights out of Philadelphia; however, I’ve never been responsible for grounding airplanes.

I read that the Eyjafjallajokull—and you thought you were a mouthful—volcano has erupted for the second time in less than a month.  That’s not such a big deal.  I cause multiple eruptions without getting out of bed more often than that.

Did you know that Iceland’s multitude of volcanoes have erupted a third of the World’s total lava output?  I’ve been lax about compiling vital statistics like that on my sexuality and cannot tell you how much hot semen I’ve induced in eruptions, but I probably could have covered the ancient city of Pompeii in cum.  Imagine archeologists digging through 30 feet of jizz. 

I don’t know if that sticky secretion could actually stop anyone in their tracks (except for the guy with the orgasm), but I do know that dry semen is really difficult to get out of my hair.  All that protein coagulates in warm/hot water.  So if I covered Pompeii in cum there would only be traces of hair left for archeologists to find.

There really are parallels to orgasms and volcanoes.  Volcanic eruptions are the result of plates bumping and grinding, then there’s a sudden release of pressure, and an explosive discharge of hot fluid that rises up through a pipe, or vaginal contractions in females that make the earth move.
No, I’m not a volcanologist.  I’m more like Mother Nature.  I just do what “cums” naturally to me.  And like Mother Nature, I can rock your world (giggle).

Natasha

www.phillylady.com


-image-I speak Cock..ney

Posted by on April 9th, 2010

dsc_2956-medium.JPGI dropped to my knees faster than the tits of a thick-bodied wet nurse that’s suckled more offspring than Octomom when a British friend said “blow me.”  The dumbfounded dandy climaxed faster than the dot-com bubble.  How was an Italian-American girl to know that blow me is a cockney exclamation of surprise?  He was so surprised that he shouted blow me twenty or thirty times before and after he came.  He repeated it so fast that he sounded just like a flat tire on a dirt road.  “Blow me, blow me, blow me, blow me, blow me, blow me.” 

Cockney parlance is perplexing and often unintelligible.  But I guess the weight of a cock that hangs to your knees puts a lot of tension on the vocal cords.  Lor’ luv a duck!  A lolly lick what large would have a one time looker singing “Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves…” 

I’d make it an imperative to bone up…  What the f…?  Bone down!  It’s a phrase meaning to study, like cramming for an examination.  Oh, I understand now.  Cramming me for an exam in sex education is what you had in mind.  You want to be vale-dick-torian.  Just for that, you’re staying after school with your pants down (giggle).  As I was saying, I’d have to study cockney pronunciation and slang before escorting in London.  Oh my God!  How embarrassing it would be to confuse four-ply and foreplay when buying tires.  But I know it would be a “Goodyear” for the tire salesman (giggle). 

I actually find cock very entertaining.  Oh, excuse me; I left off the “ney.” (lol)  But seriously, how could any “twist and twirl” not be amused by lingo that includes such colorful phrases as “keep your pecker up?” 

Incidentally, you don’t have to fly to London.  I speak cock.  Oh, darn; I forgot the “ney” again. (lol) 

Natasha

phillylady.com