-image-I speak Cock..ney

I dropped to my knees faster than the tits of a thick-bodied wet nurse that’s suckled more offspring than Octomom when a British friend said “blow me.”  The dumbfounded dandy climaxed faster than the dot-com bubble.  How was an Italian-American girl to know that blow me is a cockney exclamation of surprise?  He was so surprised that he shouted blow me twenty or thirty times before and after he came.  He repeated it so fast that he sounded just like a flat tire on a dirt road.  “Blow me, blow me, blow me, blow me, blow me, blow me.” 

Cockney parlance is perplexing and often unintelligible.  But I guess the weight of a cock that hangs to your knees puts a lot of tension on the vocal cords.  Lor’ luv a duck!  A lolly lick what large would have a one time looker singing “Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves…” 

I’d make it an imperative to bone up…  What the f…?  Bone down!  It’s a phrase meaning to study, like cramming for an examination.  Oh, I understand now.  Cramming me for an exam in sex education is what you had in mind.  You want to be vale-dick-torian.  Just for that, you’re staying after school with your pants down (giggle).  As I was saying, I’d have to study cockney pronunciation and slang before escorting in London.  Oh my God!  How embarrassing it would be to confuse four-ply and foreplay when buying tires.  But I know it would be a “Goodyear” for the tire salesman (giggle). 

I actually find cock very entertaining.  Oh, excuse me; I left off the “ney.” (lol)  But seriously, how could any “twist and twirl” not be amused by lingo that includes such colorful phrases as “keep your pecker up?” 

Incidentally, you don’t have to fly to London.  I speak cock.  Oh, darn; I forgot the “ney” again. (lol) 

Natasha

phillylady.com

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